This week, Nov 15th 2010, was parent visitation for American education week at school. Today I went to visit my older boy, Derrick Lee Bradshaw, Jr, at his school. We started off by going outside and playing Frisbee. I think the kids wanted to show off the insane skills they had learned in PE class. After PE we went back inside and were given an assignment. Derrick and I were eager to tackle this mission! Given the Holiday season, our job was to take a turkey and disguise him so that he might not get eaten. Our turkey, named Gobbles, was in need of some serious help. If we did not step in he would surely be eaten by the end of next week! After Derrick and I talked it over we realized their was only one answer…..
He needed a disguise. This “disguise” needed to hide him well but also put him in a position that nobody would even dare ask if he was a turkey! This calls for someone so scary, dangerous, and calculating that just the site of him would cause the prospective Turkey eater to shiver in his/her boots and not want to even make eye contact. Darth Vader! Remember this is the guy that was told his “force power” was merely a myth and from across the room, without a blink or a moment of hesitation, he almost chocked the poor commanding officer to death. However, because of his awesome helmet, that actually only adds to his spo0kiness, we will never know if he does blink. So we decided to disguise our turkey as this legend from Star Wars. As you can image Mr. Gobbles was very excited and eager to try on his new costume. I kept picturing Toy story where the green alien guys were saved and they kept saying “we are eternally grateful”. I handled the cape while Derrick Jr prepared his helmet and suit.
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After putting on his disguise, there was final touch needed to insure Mr. Gobbles would make it until Christmas and that was a quote that he could recite in the event someone was daring enough to actually speak to him. We decided to play on Darth Vader’s good qualities to draw sympathy from the would be accuser in this quote. What better way to do that then to express his regret toward the dark side and the event that led him back to the good side of the force. So we instructed Mr. Gobbles that if his facade were foiled, then the plan is to repeat the lines we gave him. If that does not work, well he is a turkey and has the ability to run. Maybe, while the distracted but hungry holiday eater is thinking about the sad sob story of Luke and his father, Mr. Gobbles can run away.